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Examples: As a convenient service to my readers, I occasionally take online “How To” articles and expand on them so they’re more accurate. This will enable you to better accomplish your goals, (which let’s just suppose for today is, “How To Have Better Phone Sex! ) After two weeks, when my “To-Do” list remained empty but three hundred disgusting ideas crowded my “To-Don’t” list, the app declared me frigid and referred me to a local sex therapist. The app also told me the percentage of couples who had tried each particular obnoxious activity, which I guess was supposed to encourage me to “Keep Up With The (Porno)Jones!” But I quickly realized I needed to be more flexible and open-minded. Make an appointment with that recommended sex therapist.

Toward the end of the marriage, he (who shall remain nameless) introduced an “Intimacy Inducing” Smartphone app into our relationship. (There really was a beach pail image waiting to be filled!

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