Mia, I can’t answer your question, because NOBODY can answer your question. Which would seem to indicate that you should break up with your boyfriend. I’ve put a lot of thought into the pros and cons of how much you should weigh the lack of physical attraction in a relationship.Attraction is the big X Factor in any relationship. I urge you to consider this before taking any rash steps. But realize that in 10 years, you’re 37, raising little ones and your life is no longer your own. By 57, you’re probably finishing menopause and his libido is largely gone.There is no scientific definition for the “shit test,” but it is generally defined as follows: “the test a woman gives a man in the early stages of dating, usually through curious and sly questions or comments.” Here are some example and their categories (they vary in shittiness): A) Some deal with your courtship rituals such as: “I can’t talk with a man until he buys me a drink” B) Some deal with her sex appeal, like “that bartender (woman) is so hot? ” C) Some deal with your dating habits, like “so you’re quite the player, aren’t you? She’ll may tell a joke (it could be unintelligble) and say, “You’re a little slow, aren’t you? The shit test is often interpreted as the test a woman gives to see if he is worthy of her.” Women do this, sometimes consciously, sometimes not. It is her way of weeding out the pussies from the men.So she sets up small pitfalls, knowing that some ditches are in store when you get past the first drink and actually get to know each other.The questions/comments are designed to (referring to the earlier examples, respectively): A) Get what is due her as a desirable lady being courted by a man B) Confirm your attraction to her above others C) Differentiate you from the jerks D) Know that you’ll seek to understand her and be a better man for her But the desirable woman doesn’t want to broadcast her insecurities, so she hides them through wit and challenge.
I am concerned sometimes he is too attached to me and the way he started to make long term plans with me quite soon, but this isn’t a real problem.The real problem is that I don’t find him attractive.He is not ugly but I don’t like his features and overall appearance. But it also means we’re setting up a protective layer—because you might just be the one to make us happy, and hence hurt us. It means we want to dance, rather than just sit around bored, twittling our thumbs, waiting for some cuter guy to come along.She’s so great and perfect and she has the pick of the litter, so she has the luxury of choosing the smartest, the best, and the fittest. Here’s the other (female) half: the shit test doesn’t only test your confidence, it is designed to raise hers!Even the smart and beautiful woman have many insecurities. Will he still like me without make-up on and when I have morning breath?Will he continue to pursue me when I start needing or pursuing him?) She knows she’s the prettiest woman at the party, but she also knows she’s a little girl seeking love.And the second I saw this woman and I figured out that I really wanted to meet her, I would experience this total "lock-up" in my brain.I was frozen to the spot, and I didn't know what to say or do.