Dating to fast

I had a long conversation yesterday with a friend about a guy she just met who asked her out this weekend for Valentine’s Day.

To some, this might sound like the dream scenario, but she felt like it was way too much way too soon; she was trying to pump those brakes hard. Because unfortunately—and especially in the beginning of a relationship—we’re rarely on the same page.

When you were a young teenager, did you scribble your crush’s name on your folder, drawing hearts and rainbows and imagining how your first name would sound combined with his last name?

If so, that’s fine if you’re 13, but if you’re still doing it at 33, then you need to slow down and stop fantastizing too soon about the guys you are dating or crushing on.

Don't you love being in a relationship where you are so comfortable that you can totally be yourself?

**Side note, if this is not the case and you’re feeling pressured into anything you’re not comfortable with, put that pretty foot down now and acknowledge that behavior head-on.

I know your hormones are going 150 miles per hour, your heart is pumping 100 beats per minute and your mind is thinking about that person every five minutes, but allow me to be your yield sign and tell you to slow down.

Sometimes when dating, we let our hormones drive the car that our minds should be driving. Moving too fast can cause us to end up in unhealthy relationships with weak foundations.

You're so comfortable that you have cute pet names for each other. You aren't planning the future but you are also not discussing the past. The real middle, not the one you jump into after a week of dating. When we skip building the foundation of a relationship, we build it on shaky ground.

You can take your shoes off, wear the same shirt for two days, lay on the couch, eat Cheetos and ice cream for dinner. And while this may be true, it's also a place that can lead to rejection, pain, isolation and loneliness.


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